It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
