btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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