He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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