I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
