I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
