That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
