I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
