I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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