somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
