3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
