Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it was like eating out sand paper
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She bit a glass in half.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
