I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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