Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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