Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
