At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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