I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
