It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
