I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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