Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
