thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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