Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
