You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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