I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
