so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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