She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
