ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
