everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
