Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
