So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
