Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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