Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
