Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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