Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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