so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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