Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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