i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
