Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
