Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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