i was born a porn star she said
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
