this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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