Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
