it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
