Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
