bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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