I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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