I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
