put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
