on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
