just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
