Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
