I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
