I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
