Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
