One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
