he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
